hope, love, & happiness
And, so it is
Let’s call it “the thinker’s block.” Somehow nothing new comes to mind lately. Or may be I am unable to find closure to this puzzle - what does one believe? There are several theories of human existence - evolution, intelligent design, monotheistic Western God, polytheistic Eastern Gods, the soul, forms of energy. The explanations go as far as our imaginations take us. Then there are explanations that we don’t know. And we can’t know what we don’t know.
A derivative of what defines our existence, is how we operate. Every belief system comes with rules, and rules make it easy for people to maneuver through life. Rules, even though its considered fashionable to break them, provide structure. Structure is divine. Patterns produce magnificence in art, architecture, nature. Patterns convey predictability. The human psyche is predisposed to appreciate certainty, because uncertainty is a threat to existence.
Beyond the realm of our belief systems, how we operate is also governed by the human imperatives - food, shelter, proceation. Man in the end is an animal. Animals will fight for their survival. Thus we are born into this world with a pre-set code, which is constantly updated with information about our families, cultures, societies, civilizations, and our origins. With all this information we conduct our daily lives. Each and every one of us chasing and accomplishing goals. Without questioning the process or the fundamentals. Caught up in the rigamarole of existence. Our existence.
Iridescent Love
If past is any predictor of future, then I see little hope. I see little hope for me and the rest of humanity. But somehow, someway I believe that life will sort itself. I believe that somewhere over the rainbow iridescent love awaits me. That my life is filled with hope and happiness. Of all the random draws that is our life, I know that I will not end up with the rough end of the stick. Not because I am a good person, or because I paid the debt to society or because there is a hypothetical God that loves me, or even because I think I have earned it. I believe because there is no other rational way to experience life. If there is a asteroid coming my way, there is little I can do change its path. The only thing then that matters from now to the moment of collision is how I experience this sojourn. And I choose to experience it by committing to each moment that this moment is heaven.
Never Repress Anything
The thing about social contract is that it creates these little vents where repressed emotions start nesting. We pile one emotional abuse after another. We internalize anger, directed towards others, we then internalize the anger towards ourselves for tolerating injustice. We are too polite. We feel helpless. Because people do not hesitate to throw punches. Enter sandbagging.
Alternative is Otto Gross. An anarchist. According to Nicolaus Sombart “His first thesis was: The realization of the anarchist alternative to the patriarchal order of society has to begin with the destruction of the latter.” Second “Whoever wants to change the structures of power (and production) in a repressive society, has to start by changing these structures in himself and to eradicate the “authority that has infiltrated one’s own inner being”.
Like everything there has to be a balance of course. But self preservation doesn’t commence with being non-confrontational and “taking it all in”. Self preservation begins with fighting for the weak in you. Fighting against injustice. Assigning responsibility. In the words of great philosophers - lez Metallica “Thou shall not tread on me.”
The fox has to eat the rabbit
It is the balance of things. So the only alternative it seems, is to climb up the the food chain. The only chance at survival is to be the fittest, the brutal-est, and the most vicious.
Cognitive Firewalls
If I were to visualize life of an adult, then Atlas comes to mind. Balancing earth on rocks stacked on his shoulder. With every rock, earth becomes unstable and his task of keeping it afloat harder. Rocks in this analogy are experiences. Our lives, regardless of our unwillingness to admit, become increasingly complex as we grow older. Simplicity lies in the fact that we all suffer from this affliction. We are different only in the narratives of our afflictions. Much can be attributed to our desire to avoid repeating encounters that elicit negative experiences. Stranger stealing purse - strangers are untrustworthy; boy breaking your heart - boys are mean and deceitful. While exercising caution may be an appropriate response, it has a downside of depriving us of the opportunity to prove otherwise. Being cynical however is not entirely irrational. Afterall it takes only one occurrence to transform events from conceivable to likelihood. We would be remiss to not exercise caution. But I would like to believe that like prednisone, the benefits of being open and carrying your heart on your sleeve outweigh the costs of being deceived, hurt and damaged. I would like to believe that we could shake off some baggage that we have carrying all our lives. That, despite the hurt and pain, we still retain the capacity to love and embrace without inhibition or fear.
